Well, I am at Haslemere and I have done it. I have just finished working through the tool book for my course. It is now ready to be sent off with my last assignment. Wow. I feel great, I thought I had loads to do – and I had completed more than I thought. I still need to work on my figures, which will form part of my business plan, but this is what I will be working on for the rest of the month anyway.
I am sat in a carriage full of men clearing their throats today, and one of the guys on the table has the worst breath I have smelt in ages. Lovely. I have an inkling of another sore throat, but am fed up being ill, so I will just carry on and push through. As I said yesterday, I have two four day weeks coming up, with a hopefully relaxing weekend in the middle of them, then TB is off to Oz for 10 days. We are not looking forward to being apart, but the rate the weeks are whizzing by, I don’t think we will realise it has gone before he is back. He will be doing a lot of driving though, so I am quietly fretting about that, but I am hoping that he will be able to spend some proper time with Lachy to see how he is doing.
TB is already thinking about what to pack to take with him to Oz, we are also working on questions to ask Metricon and other builders of houses. He is going out to Lyndhurst, a suburb on the East side of Melbourne, both builders whose designs we like are working on one estate, so he is going to do a recce and report back to me.
We were lying in bed last night, he always falls asleep before I do, unless I drop off as soon as my head hits the pillow, which doesn’t happen that often, considering how bone tired I am at the moment. His breathing hadn’t changed so I said, ‘Stop thinking’ he asked how I knew he was running through what he had to do this morning, so I explained about his breathing and that he was normally asleep by then. Despite competing in the sleep Olympics over the weekend, I still slept from 11ish to 5.35 with no problems, although I didn’t have my nightie on when I went to sleep, and did when I woke up, and don’t remember putting it on. I also can’t remember my dreams, which is really unusual. Most of the time they stay with me all day, I have one of those minds that run on and on, so sometimes have to use a technique from Pete Cohen. You just repeat ‘Shut the Duck up’ so it stops quacking at you in the background. It really works, and always makes me think of Tweety-Pie, which considering he is supposed to be a canary makes me chuckle, but I use a cartoon yellow and orange duck in my head.
I am also using my pod-casts and downloads of not necessarily motivational affirmations but positive statements on my journey into work. I try and repeat them through the day, most of us have a Greek chorus rattling around in our minds anyway, so I use these to confirm to myself and sub-consciousness that I am doing the right thing for me, they do make you feel better and can lift your mood. I have also been listening to the self-hypnosis recording that I used when I separated from Mark and was falling apart at the seams. I am not anywhere near falling apart, I am just conscious that I am busier than I have been in a while with one thing and another and want to concentrate. Hence me coming into work last Monday, swapping from looking after Christian to Alastair and using what the French call La Rentrée to make a new start for the school year. Far more effective than trying to make resolutions in the middle of the deepest, darkest miserable part of the year. But after the back end of last week, I wonder why I bother at times, but today is another day, I know I will be busy – but I also know I will cope with it and be having a good PA day. Positive mental attitude and all that.
Although it is cold on the platform in the morning, the past week or so I have just worn a pashmina, as finally in London anyway, it was warm outside at lunchtime. The office is still like a bluddy fridge, Ian would feel quite at home, but we all complain to Don our H&S bod. We tend to go outside to warm up, not the other way round, that is how bad it has been, even through our dire ‘summer’.
I have to leave you with one thing. I nearly always read the inside cover on the back of magazines before I read the rest of them, sometimes a Q&A, sometimes a funny article, they usually set the tone for the whole publication. Oprah’s has her column ‘What I know now’ – this month had her describing a walk she took up the mountain outside her home. She left the house with her dogs, water, sunscreen etc. and set herself the target to get to above the tree line in an hour. Puffing and blowing, she was walking so hard up the hill, she fell over, grazed herself and ended up sitting down to get her breath back. The view promptly took it away again, so when she started off again, she took each step as a goal to get her to where she wanted to be, ignored the self imposed time limit, and relished in where she was instead, looking around her and making the most of now.
‘Sometimes you have to forget how many mountains you have climbed, and just enjoy the view from where you are now’
So from the relatively small vista from someone who has completed a trying course, although one door has closed on me, the next door is creeping open with a veritable Everest in front of me. I am going to enjoy this vista, work on my base camp and prepare properly for my company. I don’t want to get to starting it, running it, but not having a clue on how I got there.