I’ve not had a rant for a wee while, so as I watched a couple of these for the first time in ages over the weekend, here are my nominations for Room 101:
1. De ne de ne de ne de ne de ne dah
People who don’t change their Nokia phones from the standard factory setting. I am not blaming Nokia for this, they are a brand, it’s the eejits that are too lazy to even find the phone ringing option in their tones and change it over that annoy me. They are also the people who will normally get a call when I am travelling with them on the train, which is so important they have to take it and shout. Why not use tin cans connected with strings if you are going to be that loud?
2. Inappropriate sports wear
If you are not going to the gym, if you are not going for a run, if you are walking down the street on a Wednesday afternoon going shopping with your children you DO NOT need to wear a football shirt, or a rugby shirt. Especially shiny shirts straining at the seams as you heave your enormous belly, arms covered with tattoos and skin head around town along with your dole cheque. I could rant on this one for ages, so best I leave that one there.
3. Road works that seem to last forever, because no one is working on them.
Is this me? If you actually saw someone in a high visibility vest pottering around, even sweeping up with a broom every so often you wouldn’t mind. But when you are stuck in traffic with what seems the orange witches hat convention of Great Britain slowly creeping past your car, and there is no one to be seen apart – where are they all? Ian works designing roads, I know how hard he works; it is not an easy job as my bear gets very frazzled doing it, but actually laying the tarmac, where do they all go?
4. Music snobs
This may sound like it is aimed at Patrick, but it isn’t I promise. He has recommended things to me that I love and vice versa, but apart from not watching ‘Forrest Gump’ is pretty open to other people’s suggestions on what they like, if he tells you ‘It’s not my cup of tea, but thank you’ we just leave him alone – or tease him about ‘Forrest Gump’ again. It’s the people that won’t listen to anything by Beethoven as they don’t like him. Or the Spice Girls as they are shite, or dismiss Take That as a just boy band. If you like a song, it moves you in a place that makes you cry, smile, even laugh (as ‘Rule The World’ does every single time I hear it – I am back at the concert with Sonia, Sarah, Chez watching Take That walk across the gantry and having a whale of a time). I hate the people who are dismissive of what gives others pleasure, so what if it’s not to your taste? If we were all the same what a boring world this would be.
5. Checking your blackberry when you are with friends and family – on a weekend or a night out
Sara this is not aimed at you, I know that if you didn’t have yours Stewart would never see you at all, and whenever we lunch you leave it the bag. This one is just plain pig ignorant and bloody rude. If you are truly expecting an important PHONE CALL then tell me, we can leave the phone on the table for when it rings, if you are just faff arsing about with your BB because you think it makes you look important, it doesn’t. You just look a knob who has no life.
6. People who leave their bags in the gangway on trains, or stick their feet out and complain when you walk into them.