For some reason, I am really struggling today. My handwriting looks different from normal, I can’t type as well or as easily, my head feels full of cotton wool and I am really lethargic. I am not sure where it has come from, other than an accumulation of lack of sleep, and I didn’t have an afternoon ‘nap’ yesterday. I say nap, because I am usually out for a minimum of 2 hours, sometimes 4. Dan can do whatever he likes round the house, it won’t wake me. In Portsmouth, I would go to sleep with the tumble dryer or washing machine going, quite happily. Although the TV being too loud can bother me a bit, but only till I am asleep. At night though I need it to be dark; no chinks of light popping up on the ceiling or at the side of curtains/blinds and deathly quiet, but here is the odd thing: I sleep better and feel more refreshed after a siesta, if only I could have a little power snooze every day, I would be quite happy.
We have swapped bedrooms, so while I no longer have the fire alarm looking at me – if for whatever reason I can’t sleep at all, it can mock me with it’s innocent green glow, just in my line of sight. I don’t have alarm clocks next to me either, as I turn them to the wall, and usually drape a sock over them for good measure too, whereas Dan wants to know the time if he wakes up in the gloaming. I am using a sleep mask as the blinds don’t fit the windows so we have 6 stripes of light coming into the room, much more than I can cope with. Yes it is an OCD issue, yes I am aware of it, no it doesn’t want to go away no matter what I do. Dan said last night, ‘Do you have your mask on?’ when I mumbled ‘Um-hum’, he started in on ‘Super Sloth, creeping slowly to a bed near you’. I am affectionately known as his 5-toed-sloth for my infinite power of sleeping. When I was a baby, Mum had to wake me up to feed me, she thought having a baby was a piece of cake, so they had my brother who could survive on catnaps until he was in his teens and wondered what the hell happened to the uninterrupted nights sleep she was used to? She still hasn’t been able to break the 5am wake up call for his first feed of the day, Patrick is now 31.
This morning has been very quiet in the office, Emma isn’t well so isn’t in, Maria is off getting ready for her wedding and honeymoon, so we are all taking it in turns to cover reception for the next 5 weeks – yes 5 weeks. I asked for 6 days off and have had to justify every single friggin one of them, (Mum and Dad are coming to visit – you know from the UK, I need to collect them at the airport and I would like to see them too), and it still hasn’t been granted. Never mind, I have found 4 jobs online to apply for and from one paper another 4/5, with two more papers to cull yet from the weekend. Keep your fingers crossed folks.