*Mutter*

Well, I sit here with a bruised and singing elbow, an ice pack on my right ankle, scuffs, grazes, bruises developing, a glass of port for medicinal purposes and a trophy for best female performance for getting so far out my comfort zone it was silly.

If ANYone asks me to do a commando run again, the short, polite answer is ‘No’. The other answer ends in ‘Off’. Apart from having to get up only a little later than we do during the week on a Sunday, and driving out, and out, and out of the city the location wasn’t bad. The weather was great, with the sun peeping through the trees and most importantly, not raining :D

I will need to buy a new sports bra, I don’t think that will ever recover, although the mud should wash off everything else ok. White cotton doesn’t give up stains easily, let alone when it is reinforced with lycra and scaffolding.

We started the day off with some silly games to get us moving and mingling, I work really well in a team, the six ladies who are my cronies will testify to that, as I met all of them at work. But because of the swimming I did growing up, which is so insular, I find team-bonding days really hard with people I don’t work with, or know. I KNOW that that is the point, but when the day is ending with an assault course which is, has and always will be, one of my biggest fears – it was never going to be an easy day for me.

As much as I like the guys and girl that were on my team, there were a few times today that I was in tears because I hated what I was doing, and was down-right scared. Running aside (those of you who know me, know I find it hard to run, also because of the swimming I did when I was younger) climbing over, under and through things is just not my idea of a good time. I am so un-co-ordinated I can’t follow a step class and fall over and bump into things all the time. I know my limits and while I past some of them today, being man-handled to get round, over and through obstacles was horrible and didn’t really mean I pushed past them, but was dragged past them instead. I felt like I was letting everyone down, especially when I was up on top of the monkey bars and was paralysed with fear; thank you Adam for letting me stand on your shoulders to get me down.

So I look at that trophy with mixed emotions; thinking I shouldn’t have done it in the first place, as it would have saved me a lot of stress and stomach churning; thinking I am faintly pleased I did it, because I don’t need to do it again; thanking someone for giving me such lovely, wonderful people to work with who got me round; but mostly how much I hated it.

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