House hunting in Melbourne…

…is a messy business. There is no two ways about it. You spend all week looking at pictures online vetoing options that don’t have what you’re looking for: air-con in at least one room, preferably through the house; a cooker that doesn’t look like it belongs in a 1970s sit-com; parking for 2 cars (we’ve one and Hubs has a work vehicle); it’s clean; it doesn’t smell.

Admittedly, you can’t gauge the last two until you walk into a place, and believe me, we’ve turned around and walked out of places where we wanted to wipe our feet on the doormat on the way out. Or walked in and been assaulted nasally by cooking smells. Or walked in peered in the bathroom and turned green.

It is so competitive that when you start looking on any given day, you will keep bumping into the same people viewing the same properties in the same area that you’re looking in. You smile tight little smiles to each other, hoping that you don’t apply for the same one, or that they get it over you, or that for Pete’s sake please don’t let them show up at the next house.

Last week we started looking in earnest, and viewed 2 properties, but didn’t apply for either. One smelt revolting, the other was a gorgeous house, but had no kitchen. Yes you did read that right. It had a shelf and a cooker, which was an oven sitting beside the hob. I should have taken a photo, but I was too busy laughing. Today we viewed 3 properties, and applied for 2. Taking the completed applications with us, to hand to the estate agent as we walked out.

After walking round the first property, I tried to be discreet when I passed the envelope to the agent, but we got seen and could hear ‘They’ve just applied!’ in a shocked voice.

We know that we’re going to have to compromise on wherever we end up living. It may not have the parking we need, meaning Hubs will have to make-do with parking his Ute where he can. It may only have one bathroom, so guests coming to stay have to share, (now we’ve had two bathrooms, we like two bathrooms). It may only have one room air-conditioned, and for Hubs, this is his main priority. He wants his pregnant wifelet to be comfy, all over the house. We’ve got seven weeks to find a new place. Keep your fingers crossed.

Me? Pretty much all I want is it to be closer to Hubs’ work, so he doesn’t have to spend over an hour driving home. But if push comes to shove, my list is longer:

  • A house or ground floor flat. Prams is heavy…
  • Without any dogs that bark all frickin night long anywhere near
  • Near to cafes, but not in the street next to a bar/take-away etc. so it’s not too noisy
  • Close to a train-line so we don’t have to drive into the CBD

I could put other things on here, but then you might think I was strange. And we’ll leave it at that…

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