I had an epiphany

Well, actually, I’ve had two, but here is the first one.

Wiz and I took Archie down the Great Ocean Road to Anglesea. Where we stayed at a friend’s house for a couple of days. We drove down to the 12 Apostles on the Tuesday, chattering away and enjoying each other’s company and the scenery. That wasn’t the epiphany.

Archie had a bad night on the Monday, I was up every hour to him as he just didn’t settle. Eventually I brought him into bed with me where I got a three-hour stretch of sleep out of him. I brought a co-sleeping plastic crib, with little bolsters that wedge him (softly) into place so he can’t roll over. The hard plastic 3 sided box which goes at the head of your bed also has an LED light so you can check on your bubba when you need to. I took the light out the bed and stood it on the night stand, walking back and forth trying to get him to settle, I walked towards a full length mirror and back again. Up and down, for most of the night. With the light behind me, I could see my body shape over and over again.

Guess what? I’m thin.

That was the epiphany. For years, and I mean years, I’ve thought I was big, fat – I’ve always been taller than most girls my age, from infant school upwards, being taller I had bigger thighs, bigger feet, bigger everything. One of my favourite things is getting a big hug from someone who is over 6′ tall, because then I feel small, but that doesn’t happen very often; even less so since I moved Down Under and I only wave at my brother through our computers.

This is a big deal for me, and I can’t really convey it through words, it is a big ‘A-ha!’ moment, a real shift in how I see myself and how I feel about my body. Since having Peanut, I’ve a new respect for my body. It went through a lot to create and carry the baby, and now it is feeding him too. I actually like it more since we had him than I did before hand.

My second epiphany was at the Irresistible Gluten-Free Show that I attended with a girlfriend. We watched a presentation on how to cope with being gluten intolerant, with 10 top tips. The first one was interesting, ‘Don’t be ashamed to grieve‘ for the foods you can’t eat; for the lifestyle and routines you had that have to change; and recognise that celebrations will be harder than before. Ever tried just buying a gluten-free birthday cake, without having to pre-order one?

I have IBS, I am not a celiac, I don’t like milk (I’m not a cow after all) so I avoid dairy, and feel much better when I don’t eat meat. While I can eat vegetarian quite easily, I can’t go fully vegan as easily simply because a lot of the meat substitutes contain wheat protein or wheat as a thickening agent. While this sounds like a nightmare, to me it isn’t, I’ve got used to it. I can eat a wide, varied diet, have you seen how many vegetables are out there? But, while on the road trip to the Apostles I ate like a normal person. I had sandwiches, I had cake and other contraband. It took nearly two weeks for my guts to sort themselves out, and my skin was terrible, both dry on my body and with spots on my face.

I cannot eat wheat. I just can’t tolerate it. So if I come out for dinner with you, or come over to  your house, I’ll eat around it. Or have a snack from the stash I’ll keep in my bag instead. Believe me, my husband will thank you for it!

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