Blue is the colour

A couple of months ago, we asked Peanut’s childcare to limit his afternoon sleeps to an hour. This was to try and get him to sleep completely through the night, and failed miserably. He still wakes up between 5:30-6:00am as he needs to poop, he wakes up anywhere between 11pm-2am because he’s thirsty, we’ve left a drink bottle in his room, but he still toddles out to come and find us, if we leave him to try and find it he rants and raves, wakes himself up properly and takes us forever to get him back to sleep again, leaving all of us jaded the next morning.

To all those people whose children sleep through, enjoy it won’t you? We’ve tried doing sleep training, but we cannot get through the screaming, that is something that doesn’t sit with either of us comfortably. I keep reminding myself, he’s two and a half years old, so won’t be doing this forever. Every day he’s more and more self-sufficient. He was wearing a zip-up hoody yesterday and nearly did the zip up on his own, as I’m nearly 39 and still fumble with zips, I was impressed at the bare minimum of help he needed.

Anyhoo, in between us verbally giving permission at nursery to wake him up after an hour, legislation was changed and we had to give written permission to wake him up after an hour. But I never wrote the letter, because in the grand scheme of things, it did not make a difference to his sleep pattern. And after three weeks of daily giving it a go, believe me it didn’t. Yesterday, one of the ladies woke him up after an hour. When I collected Peanut, he saw me, started crying an indication he is a done in. I thought he was mostly emotionally tired and still getting used to everything, being only his second day back in nursery.

We had some grocery shopping to do, so off we whizzed to the store, he was smiling, chatting and pointing things out to me. He needed a new toothbrush, and was proudly waving it around in the trolley and showed everyone. When we got home, literally only half an hour later than normal, his tired switch clicked over into ‘feral’ mode. He was throwing things around, refused everything, was getting upset at every suggestion we offered him to help and was generally the leader in a fraught half hour, partly triggered by Hubs opening the toothbrush’s packet, how dare he?

Hubs was in the bathroom with him, trying to get him in a bath and calm him down. I was in the kitchen getting his bottle sorted and in his bedroom getting his PJs out, I poked my head into the bathroom said “Everything is ready”, had the door slammed on me again by Peanut. We eventually got him in the bath, more of a puddle really, he refused to let go of his allotted bit of the bath bomb robot, to put it in the water, he refused to let us wash his hair. After some negotiation, (are the UN hiring?) we got him to put the robot’s feet in the bath, we got his hair washed (it had been sticking up in all directions due to the sunscreen), for him to refuse to get out.

We got him into his PJs, gave him some medicine as his final baby molar is cutting, then tried to get him to take his vitamin drops. I was all for giving up, but Hubs said ‘We are doing this until it is done’. Fired a bit into Peanut’s mouth, so Peanut coughed, spluttered and then threw up, luckily not much and was caught in a cloth nappy. Hubs then left the house in a huff and a taxi. Peanut crawled into bed, was asleep in minutes and I waited for Hubs to come back. I played some mah-jong. I read my emails. I looked at tumblr and Facebook. I heard someone on the deck, Hubs was there opening a beer, I asked if he was ok, he said he was going to water the garden and went downstairs.

I went back in and finished off a bottle of wine. So much for not drinking from Monday huh.

When he came back in the house, I asked if he was ok again. I said we were doing the best we could. I was told that if I’d seen he was tired, I shouldn’t have taken him shopping, that he needs to eat his dinner at 5:30. Yes, I am aware of that NOW; but at the time I made a judgement call and it was the wrong one. I asked if he wanted me to make dinner, he said no. I poached some eggs for me, texted mum to say I was just finishing dinner and waited for her to call me. She didn’t. I fell asleep on the bed reading my book, got up, changed into my PJs, cleaned my teeth and went back to bed again.

Hubs was going to the gym this morning, but didn’t go in. He and Peanut had breakfast together instead, but I still felt out of sorts about the whole thing, as we’d not talked it through. Parenting is hard, it doesn’t come with a manual, although heaven alone knows there are enough books on the subject, but at the end of the day, you do the best you can in your life. When you fall short, you don’t always need someone else to point it out to you, just gently remind you that next time you can make a better choice – if you remember what happened this time. Hubs and I have spoken a couple of times today, all is well. I just thought I’d share this with you all.

In other news, I’m now not catching up with a friend tonight, so I am going to the gym and for a swim.

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